Memo: Exciting Hiring Opportunity

To Whom it May Concern:

Are you tired of the oversaturated hero market?  Did you climb a tower only to discover the prince/princess was already rescued, dragon slain, and glory already won? Do you have great organizational skills, a high loot based work ethic, and a low sense of self preservation? Than Acquisitions Incorporated may be for you!

Here at Acquisitions Incorporated we provide an exciting franchise opportunity for would be adventures.  Receive on the job training in several specialized fields such as documancy, loremongering, or even the secretarian arts! Found your own Acquisitions Inc. HQ and claim exclusive clients and our prestigious company name! And did we mention the loot?

So if you are an adventure looking for a new chance, go and visit your nearest Acquisitions Incorporated office located throughout all of the major cities on the Sword Coast!

This document does not constitute a formal agreement of hiring on the part of Acquisitions Incorporated.  Acquisitions Incorporated is not responsible for any loss of life, limb, or loot as a result of hiring exercises.   Acquisitions Incorporated reserves all rights to retain services of expired interns via necromantic rituals for the purposes of light office work and security.

System: D&D 5e.  Tried, true, and majestic. Taking place in the realm of Forgotten Realms.

Style: Mix of high fantasy, humorous bungling, and corporate intrigue.  Honestly, probably more bungling than anything else, but we can have hope!

Approved Interns: 3-6
@Harbinger 
@SchrodingersNinja @Brave Sir Robin
@drobob
[Open slot]
[Open slot]

Starting Info: We'll be starting at 1st level.  Who better to abus- I mean, encourage than a group of bright eyed interns!

Skill level: Looking for experienced players with 5e, as there are some new mechanics in the Acq. Inc. Stuff. Corporate didn't spring for a training budget after all.  Still, we will happily take players eager to learn and with a low sense of self preservation!

Posting expectations: Every other day. (Though more frequent posting is encouraged!  We do have a quota to meet!)

Restrictions: Don't be a jerk, I guess? Oh, and label your food before putting it in the company fridge.

Notes: My games tend to run slowly, FYI. But as long as you are willing to stick around, I'll keep providing the best game I can for everyone!

Joining Instructions: Post that you're interested in joining and we will work on a character concept!  There are a few new items in Acquisitions Incorporated (new backgrounds, spells, and job titles) that I want to go over with anyone joining the game. Besides, what would a hiring opportunity be without the time honored "where do you see yourself in ten years?" "If you were color, what would it be?" and "Do you know you have an Owlbear eating your leg?" interview questions?

As an important side note: This game is going to have more than it's fair share of irreverent humor, corporate back talk (as per my last email) and jokes and insults. (Think DnD meets the office). If that kind of humor is don't for you, that's ok!  You might want to skip this game, though, as it is going to be filled to the brain with it.

This also doesn't give you a license to be a jerk.  While I do expect, and encourage, some amount of sarcasm, backtalk, and water cooler ribbing between the characters, that should never impact real life relationships.  If it's taken too far I will step in, up to and including the removal of a player from the game.  We are all trying to tell a story together yeah?

Oh shit, 6 slots? I'm down, but if 7 people want in I'll be the first to bow out.

I am leaning toward a Tiefling attorney (Paladin maybe) but I'd fill roles.

Yep!  Point buy, average hit die, anything legal on dndbeyond is allowed. Experience is milestone based.

I will post some stuff about the job positions from Aquistions Incorporated, but I suggest everyone read through that section if you can.

Speaking of company roles, do you guys need me to post a summary of them here, or can everyone view them on DnDbeyond?

Alright, I am thinking either:

Warforged Divination Wizard (Either one eye or his whole head is a Magic 8 Ball)

Tiefling Paladin and/or Warlock (Attorney at law, probably a Documancer)

Goliath Forge Cleric

Kobold Bard (hoards-person)

Depends. I can see several ideas looking cool.
1. His eye is the port where the triangle shows. Perhaps the 8 ball is just the eye socket and maybe protrudes a bit from his temple.
2. The back of his head has the port and the whole head is black with an 8 around his eyes.

3. He's all black, with the port on his chest or something, physically shaking himself to make a prophecy.

He can shake his head around like a paint can shaker.